25 things you should of learnt by middle age!!!
1: If you are too open minded your brains will fall out!
2: Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it often!
3: Going to church makes you a Christian no more than standing in a garage makes you a car!
4: It's not the jeans that make peoples bums look fat!
5: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!
6: My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance!
7: Not 1 shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious!
8: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission!
9: For every action there is a opposite government program!
10: If you look like your passport picture you probably need the trip!
11: Bills travel travel through the mail twice as fast a check's!
12: A conscience is what hurts when all of your other good parts feel so good!
13: Eat well, Stay fit, Die anyway
14: Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it!
15: No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes!
16: A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand!
17: Middle age is where broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places!
18: Opportunities always look bigger going than coming!
19: Junk is something you have kept for years but you throw it away just 3 weeks before you need it!
20: There is always one more imbecile than you counted on!
21: Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again!
22: By the time you can make 2 ends meet they move ends!
23: Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator!
24: Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the world!
25: If you choose between 2 evils choose the one you never tried before!